A Safe Snacking Convention
Paddy O' reports from New York City on the eve of
the Republican National Convention
   
On Sunday (8/29), I took to the streets of New York to witness history - thousands of people marching around Manhattan protesting President Bush, Iraq, and I'm fairly certain the Banana Dream. While not involved with the protests, I did take the opportunity to do a little undercover work to see just how tight security was by selecting three random snacking locations around the city. My findings? Terrorists should eat elsewhere.
 

McDonald's
8th Ave, between 35th and 36th

Sure, security was tight at Madison Square Garden, but for a true display of police fortification, you only had to look a block away at the nearby McDonald's.

 "Terrorists can't resist the tasty new Chicken Selects, and they love all the fun cartoon characters like Hamburglar and Grimace," a policeman who may not exist told me. "And until a terrorist attempts anything, we plan on staying here 24/7, enjoying the McDonuts."


 

 

Jimmy's Coffee Shop
Madison Ave, blocks from the Empire State Building

There's a very real possibility that terrorists may drink coffee. And if they do, they may decide to do so at Jimmy's Coffee Shop. At any moment. But they'd be crazy to try anything this week with these three police officers standing watch. Even though the guy on the far right appears to have brought his "home" uniform to work instead of the blue "away" jersey worn by every officer in Manhattan that day.

Head up, Chappy! Your white shirt and gentle smile may just have prevented a terrorist from getting his morning cup of Joe.

 

 

 


 

8th Ave Grocery
8th Avenue

It could be the multiple colors on its awning, or maybe the delectable selection of snack treats inside the store, but the NYPD obviously has a sneaking suspicion this popular West Side grocery store could attract terrorist activity. Three officers and a NYPD truck/scooter capable of carrying a Port-A-Potty away on a moment's notice is a sure sign to terrorists that NYC means business.

But how do New York's finest prepare in case a terrorist should infiltrate someplace vast enough to sell "Cold Beer" "Soda" "Candy" and "Cigarettes" under one roof?

Attention to detail. Training. And calm under pressure. For evidence of this, look no further than the photo above. Peer closely and you'll notice one police officer who is "in the zone" as he practices his evacuation technique on his nose.

That right there was all I had to see to know, for certain, that the great city of New York would be safe during the Convention.

Thank you, Officer Noseblower - and all the other brave policemen and women who kept New York's snacks safe during the Republican National Convention. Treat yourselves to a McDonut.

 

 

Snack on!

 

Paddy O' Poppycock's
snack reviews


Wonka Bar
Andes Mints
Nestle Toll House Candy Bars (Soft and Chewy Cookie)
Turkey Hill Double-Decker Ice Cream Sandwich
Hershey's White Chocolate with Almonds
White Chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Ben & Jerry's 'Wich
Cookies & Twix
MoonPie
Almond Joy (Pina Colada)
 Hershey's Caramel Kiss
Goetze's Cow Tales
York Peppermint Patties
Chew-ets
Payday
RUGER Vanilla Flavored Wafers
 Drake's Apple Fruit Pies
 DOTS®
 Austin ZOO Animal Crackers
 HOHOs
 Tootsie Roll Twin Bar Pack
 Linden's
Butter Crunchers Cookies
 WEGE Thin Pretzels
 Party Mix!
 Raisinets
 Snyder's Ultra Thin Pretzels
 Goetze's Original Caramel Creams
 Windsor Creme Wafers
 OREO Granola Bar
 Flake (British)
Black Forest Cherry Chocolate Cookies
 Nestle Giant CRUNCH
 Dolly Madison Banana Dream
 Plantation Chocolate Fudge Brownie
 Planters Original Peanut Bar
 Hershey's Sweet Escapes
KitKat
 Pepperidge Farm
2 Brownie Cookies
Farley's Fruit Snacks - Strawberry
Andy Capp Hot Fries
Joey's Black & White (cookie)
PR* Ironman bar
Reese's Pieces
Nutri-Grain TWISTS
Potato Stix
5th Avenue
Mini Rice Cakes
Dunkin' Stix
Heath Bar
Merendina (Italian)
Wispa (British)
Smile!
S'Moresels
Toffifay
 Yoohoo bar

 

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