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OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Paddy O'Poppycock
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 7
This snack review happened because Steve over at TheSneeze.com once pondered why 5th Avenues are sold everywhere, yet he's never seen anyone ever eat one. Or even admit to eating one. So WASAW gave it a try. Personally, I was delighted to discover this bar is very similar to a Butterfinger, but not as crunchy -- "moist" is the closest I can come to describing it. And more peanut buttery. The buttery crunch inside doesn't tend to stick to your teeth as much as it does in Butterfingers (where some of corn flakey goodness can sit in a molar for well over 48 hours). A nice surprise, and you're sure to get noticed with one of these in your hand.
Not nearly the size of Butterfinger (I'm talking average vending machine size comparison here), and as good as it tasted, I still get more satisfaction out of a Butterfinger. Not sure why, exactly -- probably the peanut butter softens it -- but you almost want to really munch on a candy bar that reminds you so much of a Butterfinger. 5th Avenue is more likely to dissolve in your mouth without any of the fun crunching needed.
Not entirely inspiring.
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
WHICH SOUTH PARK CHARACTER WOULD LIKE IT BEST?:
HOW CAN THE PRODUCT BE IMPROVED:
You know, somebody must be buying these. But as to whom, I don't know. I've never been to Alabama or Mississippi, so maybe they're big down there. But New Yorkers don't seem like the type that would be caught dead with this candy bar, and hell, it's named after New York's most prestigious shopping avenue. So I'd improve on this product by simply renaming and repackaging it. (The bar, itself, is pretty good and tastes rather unique despite all the obvious Butterfinger similarities.)
I'd call the new bar "Snarfy" and market it to 12-16 year old boys. "Yo, SNARF it!" the voice-over would say to a group of young teens dressed like the punks today's youth really are, "It's Snarfy good!" And then one of today's angry youngsters would turn to the camera, bite into a Snarfy bar and scream, "Snarf this!", presumably at his mom watching helplessly at home.
"This is an update from Mississippi
. In my 12 years of living in Mississippi Iíve never seen anybody eat a 5th Avenue Bar. However at a very upscale party I did see somebody eating Wall Street Pork Rinds (they taste similar to Butterfinger Pork Rinds)."
- Rick Lake
"Data point from Alabama: Lived here for the past 15 years and had never even heard of a 5th Avenue Bar let alone seen anyone eat one. I'd still be blissfully ignorant if not for TheSneeze.com."
- Todd Swearingen
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