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Goetze's Caramel Creams
OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Paddy O' Poppycock
Location: Rite Aid
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
SNACK LOOKS LIKE: A cross section of a magical tree.
SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 9
10 caramels in a pack, and only 5 grams of fat in total! Your entire mouth comes alive when eating one of these... and each one takes longer to eat than an TWIX bar. ("10 for me... none for you!")
200 BIG calories.
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Condensed Milk (nonfat)
Partially hydrogenated soybean oil
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Big clear area to show these instantly recognizable treats. Happy old guy who looks like one of the Keebler Elves in retirement adds a sense of homemade goodness. Packaging even includes "Pronounced 'GETS'" copy for those who like to say the brand name of their snack out loud.
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
Yes. My Dad got me started on them at a young age, and I'm now a junkie. Seriously. I've stolen Goetze's caramel creams out of old ladies' shopping carts before. Unfortunately, I stole them while still in the store, but still... don't question my addiction.
WHICH SOUTH PARK CHARACTER WOULD LIKE IT BEST?:
Officer Barbrady. In fact, I believe the reason he's always so "out of it" is because he's enjoying the totally sensory-consuming taste of Caramel Creams.
HOW CAN THE PRODUCT BE IMPROVED:
A warning label might be in order due to this treat's addictiveness. And give me more cream, less caramel!
Read Candyman's perfect "10" review!
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