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Ben & Jerry's 'Wich
OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Paddy O'Poppycock
Location: Rosie's (Irvington, NY)
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 7.3
UPSIDE: Lovers of ice cream sandwiches fall into two camps - those who desire delicious cookies with the ice cream an afterthought, and those who want awesome ice cream, and as long as the cookies don't taste like foul carp, everything's fine.
What's that - what about those who want both? Ok, smart-ass, everyone wants both. But we mature adults know you have to make choices in life. You can't have everything. So what will it be?
Ben & Jerry chose the ice cream. (But the cookies taste far from carp.)
These are two huge cookies. No, that's not the downside. But while the thought of eating what tastes like half-cooked cookie dough (a Ben & Jerry's time-tested formula) sounds delish, by the time you get half-way through this treat, you're beginning to clutch your chest and scribble a note to your next-of-kin to BURY ME WITH MY GABRIELLE REECE AUTOGRAPH - DON'T SELL IT ON eBAY, DAMMIT.
In other words, the 350 calories that come with the 'Wich also come with a price.
Image stolen from
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Skim Milk (why bother?)
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Classic Ben & Jerry's: The talking cow, the great ice cream sandwich product shot, the cool fonts, the solid colors, the shiny plastic. Even a playful "New!" flag on a cartoon flagpole that was drawn by a designer to appear as if it was stuck in the 'Wich. Did the cow do it? Did the cow stick the flagpole in the cookie? Well, I don't see anyone else around. Ben & Jerry are on the back of the packaging, so they didn't do it. Yes, I've decided, the cow did it. If it can talk, it can stick a tiny flagpole in an ice cream cookie treat. Crazy-ass bovine.
DO YOU RECOMMEND THIS SNACK? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
Yes, absolutely. But maybe split it with a friend. Or dish out the ice cream and save the cookies for later. One for tomorrow's lunch, the other for dinner.
DIDN'T YOU ONCE DATE THE GRANDDAUGHTER OF THE GUY WHO ORIGINALLY HELPED FINANCE BEN&JERRY'S?
Well, aren't you nosey! Maybe I did and maybe I didn't. But even if I did, I wouldn't have gotten any free ice cream out of the deal. Yes, I'm a little bitter. No, that's not why we eventually broke up - I'm not even saying we dated, for gosh sakes. I'm just saying that even if we did and I didn't get a free coupon even once during our courtship, we didn't break up because of ice cream. Maybe. You know, just saying.
WHY DO YOU SEE PEOPLE EATING ICE CREAM IN THE WINTER, BUT NEVER ICE CREAM SANDWICHES?
Very interesting question. You made up for that granddaughter one. I'm not entirely sure, but it may be because - hell, I have no idea. For the same reason you never seem to see Swiss tourists. Leave me alone.
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