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Drake's Apple Fruit Pies
OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW
Snack Committee
Reviewed by: Paddy O' Poppycock Location: Vending Machine OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK: Drake's Apple FruitPiesPRICE: $.65 |
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DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
2 square glazed baked apple wedges with McDonald's-esque apple filling. (Cold, so as not to burn your tongue.)
SNACK LOOKS LIKE:
2 glazed knishes.
SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 8
UPSIDE:
Few snacks are as satisfying or solid as a Drake's Apple Pie.While cheap imitations often make one large pie, Drake's gives you two separate halves, thus preventing unnecessary spillage that one pie often causes.
DOWNSIDE:
You pay for this solid snack with 16 solid grams of fat.
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Enriched Bleached Flour
Reduced Iron
Thiamine
Mononitrate
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Pectin
Sodium Alginate
Egg Whites
May contain peanuts or traces of peanuts
PACKAGING:
One look and you're transported back to the sixth grade. I'm sure the packaging for Drake's Fruit Pies hasn't changed in decades, but it gets the point across in simple Howard Johnson's-colored style.
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
Yep.
WHICH SOUTH PARK CHARACTER WOULD LIKE IT BEST?:
Kenny's parents probably pick up a few of these when they have change left over from buying Lottery tickets.
HOW CAN THE PRODUCT BE IMPROVED:
Reduce the fat. I mean, c'mon, most of the stuff is apple-based - Drake's has managed to fit in all that fat in a very small portion of the snack. Join the health craze, Drake's. Or at least pretend to notice. You make Ben&Jerry's look like frozen tofu.
