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PayDay Peanut Caramel Bar

OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee

Reviewed By: Paddy O' Poppycock Location: Vending Machine OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK: PayDay Peanut Caramel Bar PRICE: $.65 WEIGHT: 1.85 oz. DESCRIPTION OF SNACK: Short bar of caramel with thousands of peanuts attached everywhere. SNACK LOOKS LIKE: Remember in the Hitchcock movie "The Birds" when all those birds started attacking the telephone booth? Now pretend those birds are peanuts, and the telephone booth is a bar of caramel. SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 5

UPSIDE:

If you're a peanut lover, this is your fantasy bar. As I understand it, Jimmy Carter secretly didn't want to be re-elected in 1984 because he expressed a desire to "spend more time with a huge truckload of PayDays."

DOWNSIDE:

Saltiest candy bar in the world. SO MUCH SO, that it's a wonder they even bothered to put caramel in a PayDay. Ever tasted salty caramel before? It's like cooling yourself off on a hot day with a tall glass of scorching tar.

1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:

Peanuts
Sugar
Corn Syrup
Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil

LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:

Egg Whites
TBHQ
Soy Protein
Citric Acid.

PACKAGING:

Makes this salty treat look like it belongs in the vending machine of a nearby town's junior high school's lobby that you're playing against in basketball... in 1964.

DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):

If you love peanuts and salt, you'll never eat another thing again. If you like them in moderation, but not mixed with sweets, stay clear.

WHICH SOUTH PARK CHARACTER WOULD LIKE IT BEST?:

Bus driver.

HOW CAN THE PRODUCT BE IMPROVED:

Dump a huge amount of milk chocolate over this bar or use unsalted peanuts. Seriously, just using unsalted peanuts could make this snack a 10. Well, ok, maybe a 7.5.

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