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Dots
OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW
Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Paddy O' Poppycock Location: CVS OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK: PRICE: $.79 (on sale) DESCRIPTION OF SNACK: |
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SNACK LOOKS LIKE:
If you were an ant, they'd look like the most inviting little comfy chairs you could ever imagine.
SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 9.5
UPSIDE:
Oh man, they finally figured out how to make DOTS fresh and chewy! They've always been good, but now they're consistently soft. My jaw use to ache for days after eating a few, but no longer! The perfect non-chocolate snack -- and sonuvabitch, they're fat free, too!
DOWNSIDE:
I'm not an ant. (I really want to have DOT lawn furniture.)
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Corn Syrup
Sugar
Modified Food Starch
Malic Acid
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Malic Acid
Artificial and Natural Flavors (are there any other kinds?)
Sodium Citrate
Artificial Colors
PACKAGING:
The happiest packaging ever! Makes you want to hug the box and then immediately go find yourself a movie theater in which to properly enjoy them. New DOT DROP Dispenser makes for fun, efficient snacking. There's even a game for the kids on back.
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
YES.
WHICH SOUTH PARK CHARACTER WOULD LIKE IT BEST?:
I picture the school bus driver always having a box of Dots by the dashboard light...
HOW CAN THE PRODUCT BE IMPROVED:
Come out with a line of DOT lawn furniture with my ass sitting comfortably all over it.
