OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT

Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee

Reviewed By: Kid Nougat

Location: Tony's Quik-Stop, Bronx, New York

OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
Joyva Chocolate Covered Jelle JOYS


PRICE: $.60

WEIGHT: 1.5 oz.

DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
A jelly-filled, chocolate covered Lego block, without the circular prongs. Visually, Joys are like miniature 3 Musketeers bars.

SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 9.2 (Rhymes with "I love you.")

 

UPSIDE:

Joys don't fool around. They let you know what they're about from the first bite. Chocolate. Jelly. Big-time taste. Simply delicious. I prefer my Joys refrigerated (especially when it's 99 degrees out). Chilly jelly says "HEY NOW" to your taste buds. What else does that? I DEFY YOU TO ANSWER!

DOWNSIDE:

They're much too small. MUCH too small. Each Joy measures 9 centimeters in length, 2.5 centimeters in width, and 1 centimeter in height. Twice that size? NOW we're talking! Aaah yeah. "HEY NOW," TASTE BUDS!

1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:

Sugar
Corn Syrup
Chocolate
Agar-Agar (ingredient added by my man, Boutros-Boutros)

LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:

Chocolate
Agar-Agar (or maybe it was added by crackpot Sirhan-Sirhan)
Citric Acid
Artificial Flavors

PACKAGING:

I imagine the straight-up yellow-and-red approach plays big with the kindergarten crowd, but I'm looking for sophistication. (See Paddy O's Yoohoo candy bar review for some serious anti-yellow sentiments.) Then again, we're talking about JELLY here. There's nothing sophisticated about jelly. Er... I gotta lighten up.

DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):

Definitely. If you can find 'em. I'm doing my best to spread some Joys, but I may be the only one! I don't see these babies around much.

HOW DOES ONE ASK FOR THIS SNACK IN SPANISH?

"Gimme el joyos, hombre. Lickity-split."

SUM UP YOUR EXPERIENCE IN THREE WORDS OR LESS: God bless America!

Back for more snacks