OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Kid Nougat
Location: Tony's Quik-Stop, Bronx, New York
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
WEIGHT: 1.5 oz.
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 9.2 (Rhymes with "I love you.")
Joys don't fool around. They let you know what they're about from the first bite. Chocolate. Jelly. Big-time taste. Simply delicious. I prefer my Joys refrigerated (especially when it's 99 degrees out). Chilly jelly says "HEY NOW" to your taste buds. What else does that? I DEFY YOU TO ANSWER!
They're much too small. MUCH too small. Each Joy measures 9 centimeters in length, 2.5 centimeters in width, and 1 centimeter in height. Twice that size? NOW we're talking! Aaah yeah. "HEY NOW," TASTE BUDS!
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Agar-Agar (ingredient added by my man, Boutros-Boutros)
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Agar-Agar (or maybe it was added by crackpot Sirhan-Sirhan)
I imagine the straight-up yellow-and-red approach plays big with the kindergarten crowd, but I'm looking for sophistication. (See Paddy O's Yoohoo candy bar review for some serious anti-yellow sentiments.) Then again, we're talking about JELLY here. There's nothing sophisticated about jelly. Er... I gotta lighten up.
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
Definitely. If you can find 'em. I'm doing my best to spread some Joys, but I may be the only one! I don't see these babies around much.
HOW DOES ONE ASK FOR THIS SNACK IN SPANISH?
"Gimme el joyos, hombre. Lickity-split."
SUM UP YOUR EXPERIENCE IN THREE WORDS OR LESS: God bless America!
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