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OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Kid Nougat
Location: Shell gas station, Greenwich, Connecticut
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
(SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10):
Image stolen from
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Partially hydrogenated vegetable shortening
Enriched bleached wheat flour (Bleached wheat? What’s next? Botoxed wheat?*)
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
I’m conflicted. “Yodels” is written in a friendly bubble-font, which I like, but I can’t quite make up my mind about the mostly clear wrapping. See, I fondly remember when Yodels were individually wrapped in a shiny silver Reynold’s Wrap type thing, rendering each log a special gift from the snacking gods. It’s very difficult to properly articulate how much I loved unwrapping a Yodel back in the day, so I’ll gladly take the lazy way out and not even bother.
I guess clear’s good – you can avoid buying damaged or stale-looking merch – but whatever. Lots of blue and orange going on, too (so that’s extra cool for Mets fans). The Drake’s duck is looking dapper in his chef’s hat – he’s holding a big spoon and laughing like crazy. Nice! That duck is AWESOME! (The summer boxed version of the packaging suggests you “EAT ‘EM FROZEN,” but that’s not for me. The duck kicks back in shades and a goofy cap. Did I not tell you he’s awesome?)
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
Absolutely. Especially when you’re pissed or depressed. When I’m sad, I hit the Yodels big-time. I have an emotional comfort factor with Yodels that dates back to my formative years. Not picked for football? Yodels. Dissed by a hot chick? Yodels. Evidence that links me to the murder? Yodels.
IS THIS SNACK’S NAME THE PLURAL OF AN ANNOYING SINGING TECHNIQUE?
For sure! To “yodel” is “to sing by suddenly changing from a natural voice to a falsetto and back.”
Personally, I think anyone who yodels should be pelted with Yodels. Like THIS clown!
HOW CAN THIS PRODUCT BE IMPROVED?
A miniature can of Redi-Whip should be supplied with each package. You can never have enough crème with your Yodels!
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU ADD 5 YODELS TO 3 YODELS, THEN SUBTRACT 6 YODELS?*
* In retrospect, these jokes were quite lame. My apologies. (If you’d like to complain about these jokes, please call Figaroo at home at 1-228-555-8257.)
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