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Hershey's Whatchamacallit

OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee

Reviewed By: Kid Nougat Location: Pelham Bay Mini Market, Bronx, New York OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK: Hershey's Whatchamacallit PRICE: $.60 WEIGHT: 1.7 oz. DESCRIPTION OF SNACK: A predominantly peanut-flavored "crisp," covered with a thin top layer of caramel, then totally covered in everyone's favorite - milk chocolate. The dimensions of the bar are as follows: the "Whatcha," or length, measures an unlucky 13 centimeters, the "ma," or width, measures 3.5 centimeters, and the "callit," or depth of each bar, is a better-than-average 1.5 centimeters. SNACK LOOKS LIKE: Uh... it looks a lot like one of those, uh... you know, those... uh... you know, whatchamacallits. SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 8.0 (Eight. As in, "ate." As in "Eight is Enough." Anything more would be too much praise. Anything less, uncivilized. My favorite Bradford girl? Nancy. Nancy's SSI Rating? 9.2.)

UPSIDE:

Whatchamacallits are quite light; they satisfy your chocolate craving without overdoing it (much like a Three Musketeers bar). The lighter the snack, the more room in your tummy for MORE snacks! How's THAT for an upside? Also, they don't leave a strong peanutty flavor in your mouth the way some other peanut-flavored snacks do. (I won't name names - the Kid's no fink.)

DOWNSIDE:

Certain chocolate bars refrigerate well - you don't mind (or sometimes even prefer) eating them chilled. Whatchamacallits? Keep 'em out of the fridge, babe. The chill thing just ain't happenin' here. This, of course, is a mild downside, but a downside nonetheless.

1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:

Sugar
Cocoa Butter
Chocolate
Nonfat Milk

LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:

Malt
Molasses ("Lass" means girl, so doesn't Mo' lasses mean "More Girls?" I'm all for THAT, baby!)
Soya Lecithin
Disodium Phosphate

PACKAGING:

Straightforward and casually eye-catching. The name rules - WHATCHAMACALLIT. Say it with me now... WHATCHAMACALLIT. Aaah yeah. The wrapper plays up the name by playing down the color scheme. It's beige and brown, with a polysyllabic orange and pink internal word contrast. (No, really, read that again - IT MAKES SENSE!)

DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):

Yes. So does Nancy Bradford. (TRIVIA QUIZ! Name the actress* who played Nancy!)

IS THIS SNACK A CITY IN KANSAS?

No. That'd be Witchita, not Whatchamacallit.

IN THREE WORDS OR LESS, SUMMARIZE YOUR EXPERIENCE:

Silicone breast implants.

 

* Dianne Kay

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