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OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
A weird-looking candy store on 7th
Avenue in the 20’s in NYC. Possible drug deal going on in the back room. I
bought my Sour Razzles and high-tailed it outta there - didn’t even wait for my
twenty cents change! I refuse to get capped for a snack.
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
WEIGHT: 1.4 oz.
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
Smallish, sour, brightly colored
sewer cap-looking candies (in lemon, lime, cherry, orange and blue raspberry)
that are supposed to turn into gum when you shift from suck mode to chew mode.
“First it’s candy…” says the wrapper, “…then it’s GUM!” Oh, really? You call
that gum? Is that what you call it? I call it “waxy, taffy-like chud.” But
that’s just me.
(SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10):
If you’re into sour, they’re
definitely sour. That’s the only upside I can think of.
They don’t taste good. Am I crazy? Am I
losing my mind? I remember Razzles being delicious. Not nutritious, not
malicious, but totally delicious. They were one of my favorite candies when I
was little. Maybe it’s got something to do with the whole “sour” thing. Maybe
I should just get some regular Razzles. Or maybe I should just shaddup and
stop whining like a wee little girl. Who am I, Figaroo?
Image stolen from
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Major-league greatness! Rays of apple
and lime green surround an expertly written “RAZZLES” (knocked-out in white
with a blue lining and a purple background). “SOUR,” written in yellow with an
orange background, has a lemon doubling as the “O” – a nice touch. All five
flavors are accurately represented by actual-size images at the bottom.
Picasso WISHES he could do work like this. You know, if he was around.
DO YOU RECOMMEND THIS SNACK? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
Gotta say NO. Get the regular Razzles.
And follow the Kid’s timeless advice: If it ain’t broke, the early bird gets
the worm. Or… don’t fix it… or something. Look, I’m tired, alright?
AM I DREAMING, OR DID THE BOSTON RED SOX
WIN THE WORLD SERIES IN 2004?
You are indeed dreaming. Go back to
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