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Smartfood White Cheddar Cheese Flavored Popcorn

OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee

Reviewed By: Kid Nougat Location: Office vending machine, Stamford, Connecticut OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK: Smartfood White Cheddar Cheese Flavored Popcorn PRICE: $0.65 WEIGHT: 5/8 oz. DESCRIPTION OF SNACK: Dee-licious! It’s a perfect-sized bag of popcorn packed with smooth-tasting, snow-covered-looking morsels. SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 10 UPSIDE: This snack’s got WAY more than just one upside. First up, like I said, you get the perfect amount of popcorn. Then you get a whole lot of white cheddary goodness, the kind of goodness that’ll make you want to sell your home and spend your days chanting “white cheddar, ye-hah” in a public park. THEN there’s the simple pleasure of eating popcorn, and on and on… DOWNSIDE: When you finish your bag, you’ll cry. Embarrassing. PACKAGING: In a word, chic. Like the kind of popcorn bag you’d get at a meeting with Donna Karan. I’m diggin’ it. It’s mostly black, with an ear of corn and some floating popcorn. (Floating popcorn? Am I on dope again?)

1ST 4 INGREDIENTS: Air-popped popcorn Corn Oil Cheddar Cheese Pasteurized Milk   LAST 4 INGREDIENTS: Buttermilk Whey (No whey? YES whey!) Salt Citric Acid

DO YOU RECOMMEND THIS SNACK? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):

Picture me and rebel billionaire Richard Branson on top of a hot air balloon over the Grand Canyon yelling through megaphones “YES! YES! YES!”

DOES THIS SNACK PERFECTLY COMPLEMENT SEEING A MOVIE?

Picture me and rebel billionaire Richard Branson on top of a hot air balloon over the Grand Canyon yelling through megaphones “YES! YES! YES!”

DO YOU KNOW RICHARD BRANSON?

No.

THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP-

Because I can’t think of anything, alright! I can’t!  I’m tapped! I’m tired! I’ve got deadlines! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
 

 

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