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OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Kid Nougat
Location: Chelsea Car Wash, 15th Street & 10th Avenue, NYC
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
(SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10):
Image stolen from Necco.com.
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Sweetened Condensed Skim Milk
Salt (I like my chocolate salty, don't you?)
If it was 1957, the bright yellow wrapper and blandly red “SKY BAR” would feel futuristic. Since it’s 2004, it just feels bright and bland. (Note to self: am I too critical? Am I making sense? Ease up on the Diet Coke.)
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
It’s an 8.9, Holmes! Of course I recommend it! Get your ass to the candy store!
DOES THIS CANDY BAR SHARE ITS NAME WITH A
POPULAR HOLLYWOOD HANGOUT
CREATED BY SUPERMODEL CINDY CRAWFORD’S HUSBAND?
Indeed. West Hollywood’s Sky Bar – a creation of Randy Gerber – is housed in the Mondrian Hotel and boasts some trendy patrons. DiCaprio, Jewel, Sir Snackalot – the list goes on and on.
HOW CAN THE PRODUCT BE IMPROVED:
NOUGAT, that’s how! What an oversight! How could they possibly forget the nougat? Who’s responsible for this? WHO, I SAY! (I’d swap out the vanilla. I’ve already got an angry letter in the mail. I’ll keep you posted.)
AND YOU THOUGHT YOUR JOB WAS BAD:
The wrapping features a Guarantee of Satisfaction: “We have used the finest ingredients in this bar and will gladly replace it if you are not satisfied. Send us the wrapper including the unused portion of the bar, stating when and where purchased.” How’d you like to receive half-eaten candy bars in the mail, along with letters from whiny fools? Me? The Kid? I’ll stick with beet farming, thanks.
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