OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Sir Snackalot Location: Vending Machine OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK: PRICE: $.60 NAME TO PRODUCT RELATIONSHIP: You feel like you're eating the real ingredients right out of the backyard! DESCRIPTION OF SNACK: Little turds of kaka. SNACK LOOKS LIKE: Pretzel Nuggets for Satan. SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 1.3 |
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UPSIDE: Low fat, crunchy.
DOWNSIDE: Bad breath, stomache ache, unfinishable.
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Unbleached wheat flour
Salt
Corn oil
Malt
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Dehydrated garlic
Natural flavors
Yeast
Sodium carbonate
PACKAGING:
Foil, blah, generic beige, purple and yellow, like a fancy barf bag.
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
What, are you crazy? No way, Jose.
WHICH SOUTH PARK CHARACTER WOULD LIKE IT BEST?:
None. These pretzels would be rejected by Starvin' Marvin, the kid from Africa accidentally sent to the boys instead of the $5 watch.
HOW CAN THE PRODUCT BE IMPROVED:
I think the main problem is the concentration of the Garlic and Onion. It's the selling point and also the worst thing about it. I ate one and couldn't eat another. It tasted like I was eating the garlic and onion straight from the source.
