Ode To A Coke
by Lauren VanderwoodI think that I shall never see
a beverage as lovely as this one be.
Refreshing and cold.
Dark and fizzy.
The bubbles go up my nose
and make me dizzy.
Perfect mid-morning,
just around ten.
It quenches my thirst --
and it's not just a yen!
Ideal with my lunch,
washing down ham.
Or tuna or pizza,
or even a yam (who eats yams?)
Delicious with dinner
at home or on the town.
And no matter how fine the place,
watch me guzzle it down!
Crushed ice or cubed.
Straight up or from the can.
I'll drink it any which way.
Even standing on my hands! (or maybe not)
No Shasta. No Tab.
No Orangina. No Slice.
Coke's the only one for me.
Who else agrees? Heidi Fleiss!*
So go sit on your Snapples,
your Citras and Surges.
Only Coca-cola
can satisfy my urges.
In fact, I'm off to the vending machine --
my need is much too strong.
I'll have to get a caffeine-free Coke
because this poem is WAY too long!
* based on actual meeting of Ms. Fleiss in her Heidi Wear store.
She really was drinking a Coke. I swear.
Sketch by Anthony DelBroccolo