OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Kid Nougat Location: Vending Machine OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK: WEIGHT: 1.63 OZ (same as Kate Moss) DESCRIPTION OF SNACK: SNACK LOOKS LIKE: SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 9.5 (rhymes with "that ain't no jive") |
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UPSIDE:
The "M&M" moniker. Every kind of M&M is delicious (am I wrong?), and these peanut butter babies certainly follow suit -- they deliver the goods. Then they RE-deliver the goods! You'll crave a second bag, baby!
DOWNSIDE:
You'll be humming to yourself as you munch 'em, and that's just plain embarrassing. People will point at you and stare at you and laugh at you. You know the way you hum to yourself when you're eating something you REALLY enjoy? That's what you'll be doing. And you'll be rocking back and forth. This is NOT a pretty picture. Be warned: if you choose to eat this snack, you'll look like Rain Man having an orgasm.
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Sugar
Cocoa Butter
Chocolate
Skim Milk
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Salt
Gum Acacia (he played short for the Astros in the late '70's)
Dextrin
Propyl Gallate (this is used to "maintain freshness" -- they should pour some on the cast of "ER")
PACKAGING:
The red bag doesn't quite work as well as the other colors they've been using for all the new versions -- it clashes with the brown "M&M's" logo -- but who cares?
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF?
Duh.
HOW MUCH OF THIS SNACK CAN YOU GET UP YOUR NOSE?
The average sleeping adult female can fit 3 peanut butter M&M's up each nostril. Trust me.
HOW CAN THE PRODUCT BE IMPROVED?
Each bag should come with a masseuse who gives you a rub-down as you munch away. Aaah yeah.
SUM UP YOUR EXPERIENCE IN THREE WORDS OR LESS:
Uhhhhhh, Uhhhhhhh, OOOOOHHHHHHHH!
