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Martin's Kettle-Cook'd, Hand Cooked Potato Chips
OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW
Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Kid Nougat Location:
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK: PRICE: $0.75 DESCRIPTION OF SNACK: SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 0.91 FIRST 4 INGREDIENTS: |
Image borrowed from Taquitos.net |
UPSIDE:
Before you trash 'em, you can mash 'em to
a fine powder with your enraged fists. (That's the Kid's version of anger
management.)
DOWNSIDE:
Which part of “funky, oily chips” and “taste like feet” do you NOT understand? Don't make me slap you.
PACKAGING:
Quite good. I love the packaging. It's the reason I got the chips. I'm a sucker for old school understatement. Plain white bag, plain yellow letters (with red trim), plain red cartoon kettle. What's not to like? (The CHIPS, that's what!)
DO YOU RECOMMEND THIS SNACK? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
Are you reading what I'm writing? WHAT is the MATTER with you?
WHY DO THEY CALL THEM “KETTLE-COOK'D, HAND COOKED?”
For only one reason I can think of: the proprietors of Martin's are “DUMB-ASS'D, STUPID ASSES.” Their website tells you to “Munch with Martin's.” NOT IN MY LIFETIME YOU DOOFUS MOFOS!
IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A “POTATO CHIP SANDWICH?”
Of course there is. Potato chip sandwiches are considered White Trash cuisine. You take two pieces of white bread, slather each with mayo, pile chips on one of the slices, then top it with the other slice and smash it down until the chips are totally crushed. Uh… not that I make that or anything.
