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Basil's Bavarian Bakery Macaroon Cookies
OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW
Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Kid Nougat Location: vending machine OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
Basil's Bavarian Bakery Macaroon Cookies WEIGHT: 1 oz. DESCRIPTION OF SNACK: SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 6.4 - Nothing to get excited about, yet nothing to really criticize, either. |
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UPSIDE:
One word: coconut. That tropical kernel does it for me every time. If you love coconut, this is a rock-solid snack. If you like coconut, it's still a rock-solid snack. If you don't like coconut, uh... you're coconuts! Plus, the whole "macaroon" thing is cool - a slammin' synonym! "You're having cookies? Big deal - I'm munchin' macaroons!"
DOWNSIDE:
These cookies form a SERIOUS PASTE around your molars. You'll have remnants of your Bavarian Bakery experience all over your dental work long after that last gulp of low-fat milk. Stock up on the "Plax" and gargle like there's no tomorrow!
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Enriched Bleached and Unbleached Wheat Flour
Sugar
Coconut
Vegetable Shortening
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Corn Syrup
Salt
Emplex (Humans get breast implants, robots get breast emplex.)
Lecithin
PACKAGING:
An enthusiastic near-miss. The bag looks like an ad for Spanish cigarettes. Aqua, yellow, deep pink... You'll notice it for all the wrong reasons. The "Big Bag" burst achieves greatness through pure, unadulterated lameness. You have to respect that.
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
Coconut fans won't be disappointed. Cubs and Red Sox fans, however...
CAN YOU KILL SOMEONE WITH THIS SNACK IF YOU
THREW IT REALLY HARD AND HIT
THEM ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT?
No.
HOW CAN THIS PRODUCT BE IMPROVED?
Each of the 12 cookies is hard and crunchy. They should go 6 and 6 - half hard and crunchy, half soft and chewy. Can macaroons be soft and chewy? I say YES! I say YES! YES! YES!
