OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Kid Nougat Location: Vending Machine OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK: WEIGHT: 2 oz DESCRIPTION OF SNACK: SNACK LOOKS LIKE: SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10):
5.82 (sort of
close to a 6, but not really -- try one; you'll dig |
|
UPSIDE:
The cookies are pop-able. Just keep poppin' 'em in your mouth. Pop away, no one's gonna stop you. I'm not gonna stop you. Why would I wanna stop you? Do I even know you? Uh... I can't really think of an upside. Is
that okay?
DOWNSIDE:
The raspberry stuff is mucho-gummy. Hello? Who ordered the Krazy Glue? Not ME, homeboy!
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Enriched Wheat Flour
Margarine
Sugar (which, ironically, is my nickname at the Emily Wench Home for the Aged)
Red Raspberries
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Whole Eggs (yeah, yeah - thanks for the yolk, slick)
Baking Soda
Baking Ammonium
Salt
PACKAGING:
Clean and neat (or is it "neat and clean?" I can never remember). Classic fonts. An apropos raspberry-colored border helps sell the product. Kudos to the Norman Rockwell bastard who brainwashed me.
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF?
Yes I do. No I don't. Yes I do. No I don't. Yes I do. No I don't. Yes, I'd have to say no. No, I mean yes.
What was I talking about again?
CAN YOU USE THIS SNACK AS CHECKERS?
Yes you can. King me, baby!
HOW CAN THE PRODUCT BE IMPROVED?
Change the name to "Paul and Kiko's Slammin' Oldies" and make 'em taste like mini Mars bars.
SUM UP YOUR EXPERIENCE IN THREE WORDS OR LESS:
Nat King Cole.
