OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Kid Nougat
Location: Exchange Place Place, Jersey City
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
WEIGHT: 1.55 oz.
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
SNACK LOOKS LIKE:
SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 10 (Kisses are perfect - end of story)
Availability. Go into any store that sells snacks - ANY STORE - and Kisses'll be on the menu. If you find yourself in a store that doesn't have Kisses, please notify WASAW immediately. A store without Kisses is unacceptable. Feel free to call Figaroo at home (collect, if you like), anytime, day or night, at 1-201-555-FIGG. Fig LIVES for customer service.
Constantly having to ball up the wrappers. If there's no trash nearby, it's a pain in the neck. How many times have you found an old Kiss wrapper in a jacket pocket? More than once, right? If so, please call Figaroo at 1-201-555-FIGG.
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Vanillin (criminals who steal ice cream aren't villains, they're vanillins)
The silver foil rules! A stroke of genius, as long as there's a trashcan nearby. You gotta love unwrapping each one - it helps pace your snacking rhythm.
DO I EAT THEM NAKED?
That's private business.
ARE THEY BETTER THAN ACTUAL KISSES?
Depends on who you're kissing. And WHAT you're kissing. Boss's ass?
Hershey's wins out. Your girlfriend's ass? Well, YOU make the call!
SUM UP YOUR EXPERIENCE IN THREE WORDS OR LESS: Kiss me, Kate!
Back for more snacks