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Hostess Glo Balls
OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Paddy O'Poppycock
Location: Main Street Deli, Irvington, NY
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
Now here's what I say:
SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 2.4
DOWNSIDE: Taste one.
HOW'S THE PACKAGING?
Very enticing. The disturbingly orange coconut topping of the Glo Balls, the "with S'cream filling" wavy font, and the bats flying around the top of the package are just too much for a chubby child to resist.
DO YOU RECOMMEND THIS SNACK? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
If Glo Balls were just these huge marshmallow balls with orange coconut topping, I'd probably say go for it. But unfortunately, as the two photos at right prove, they're not. What they are is a disturbing snack.
- Start with some chocolate cake. Not good cake, mind you. Anything will do.
- Now, puncture a hole through the bottom and force bland cream, er, S'cream filling up inside it.
- Generously pour topping consisting of sugar, stale marshmallows, styrofoam peanuts and sweetened attic insulation over chocolate cake.
- Let cool. Douse with coconut that has been soaking in artificial orange coloring overnight.
Don't get me wrong - I'm a big Hostess fan. But this is not their best work. Glo Balls look so delicious sitting there in your local grocery store's snack aisle, calling your name, saying, "I'm fresh for the Halloween holiday - try me!" But then you take that first bite and instantly feel downright ghoulish.
Of course, Glo Balls ain't all bad. It's always fun finding the "cream hole" at the bottom of snacks like this. Hostess has done the impossible, again - they've given snack cakes their own sweet anus.
SO THE MARSHMALLOW COVERING IS REALLY DECEPTIVE. IT'S NOT THAT THICK. WERE YOU TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTED?
Yes, but I quickly got over this let-down when I realized peeling back the marshmallow layer from the chocolate cake was easy, and you could use the orange topping for other fun things, like:
A Mrs. Butterworth's bonnet!
A fake nose - great for doing a W.C. Fields impersonation. Which, as we all know, is what all the kids are begging for these days. That, and Glo Balls.
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