OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee
Reviewed By: Kid Nougat
OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK:
WEIGHT: 1.75 oz.
DESCRIPTION OF SNACK:
SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 9.0 (Remember that great feeling you had in school whenever you scored a "90" on a test? That's the Goodbar feeling, baby.)
Not only is this snack delicious, it's half the title of "Looking for Mr. Goodbar," a 1977 flick with Diane Keaton and Richard Gere. According to Leonard Maltin, "Keaton's performance outclasses this pointless movie." Similar to the way this snack outclasses my pointless UPSIDE.
No real downside, other than craving an unavailable "Krackel."
1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:
LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:
Cocoa Processed With Alkali (as opposed to "Cocoa Processed With Detroit Tiger Hall Of Famer Al Kaline")
You know it, you love it.
DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):
I'll take this category one step further - I recommend you get yourself up and get yourself out and get yourself a Mr. Goodbar RIGHT THIS SECOND!
DOES THIS SNACK HAVE A SPOUSE?
No. There's no "Mrs. Goodbar." Mr. G's a stud who likes to play the field.
HOW CAN THIS PRODUCT BE IMPROVED?
Since Richard Gere was in the movie, maybe he can get the Dalai Lama's face on the wrapper. Spiritual snacking, know what I mean?
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