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U-NO candy bar

OFFICIAL SNACK REPORT
Sanctioned By WASAW Snack Committee

Reviewed By: Paddy O' Poppycock Location: Found it in a gift basket OFFICIAL NAME OF SNACK: U-NO WEIGHT: 1.5 oz. DESCRIPTION OF SNACK: The package says "rich creamy chocolate", and I guess that's one way to describe it. Another would be "weirdly packed-together cocoa chocolate powder that one might suspect is the consistency of the moon's surface. This mystery material is then enrobed in standard candy bar milk chocolate. Oh, and that mystery chocolate tastes salty." So yes, "rich creamy chocolate." SSI RATING (SNACK SATISFACTION INDEX - 1-10): 3

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UPSIDE:

Given enough U-NO wrappers, this candy bar's cool reflective silver packaging could make a VW Bug look like a spaceship. A spaceship made of salty chocolate gunk.

DOWNSIDE:

I'm not a huge fan of chocolate truffles. The U-NO to me is made of old Truffle inards. Now, I'm sure there's an audience for this candy bar because it's been around for some time and folks love their truffles. But geesh, I can't stop thinking that I'm basically eating cocoa/coffee nougat gone horribly wrong dipped in Carnation breakfast bar chocolate.

1ST 4 INGREDIENTS:

Milk Chocolate
Sugar
Hydrogenated Coconut Oil
Hydrogenated Palm Kernel Oil

LAST 4 INGREDIENTS:

Cocoal Butter
Chocolate
Emulsifier
Natural and Artificial Flavors

PACKAGING:

Never has a candy bar this bad had packaging this good. However, it seems to say "I'm made of a delightful marshmallow center!" with it's big white letters on that gorgeous silver foil. Trust me, that ain't marshmallow in there.

DO I RECOMMEND YOU TRY THIS YOURSELF? (YES/NO - EXPLAIN):

In a word? U-NO.

Now, if you're someone who enjoys rich creamy chocolate the gag reflex, sure. Go for it. But for my money (and this candy was given as a gift), there are far too many snack choices in this world to go with U-NO.

CAN THIS CANDY BAR DOUBLE AS A CARD GAME?

Sorry, no. You're thinking about Uno.

CAN THIS CANDY BAR DOUBLE AS A PIZZA?

Sorry, no. You're thinking about Pizzeria Uno.

HOW CAN THIS PRODUCT BE IMPROVED?

Crumble it up into a fine powder and stir into milk. Then serve to your cat.

 

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